A Bride's Observation

   While visiting with a recent bride, she wanted to let me know the reason she had chosen me to photograph her wedding. Her wedding will be during the winter, held inside a church. She said that when reviewing various photography websites, she noticed that most photographers showcase images of outdoor ceremonies, as well as engagement portrait sessions outside. She had concerns that not every photographer knows how to add lighting to compensate for dark churches, and in her case, a large wedding party.
   2016 will mark my 26th year as a professional photographer. I've been certified through Professional Photographers of America since for 21 years. My credentials include knowing how to set up optimum lighting for any situation and location , plus gather and pose groups quickly and fluidly...yet creatively.
  Experience. Yes, it truly matters.

  

A special dance

   Nearly every wedding reception has that special moment when the newly wed bride takes a moment to dance with her father. Usually the dance is somewhat awkward, with both dad and daughter suffering shyness with so many eyes on them. Occasionally the father and daughter have developed a fun, choreographed dance, obviously rehearsed and practiced, and enjoyed by everyone. I love photographing the reactions of the guests as they watch the father-daughter moment: the tears,  poignant smiles, the glances at their little girls as they imagine that special dance in their own futures.
  Mr. S had cancer. He attended his daughter's wedding with oxygen tank in tow, and even mustered the strength to escort her down the aisle. At the reception I watched him take in every moment of the evening- smiling at his wife, grinning at his grandchildren, paying careful attention to his adult children and their spouses. Finally, it was his special time to dance with his daughter, the breathtaking bride.
   They danced, cried, and finally, embraced, as family and friends wiped away bittersweet tears. They left the dance floor, and the DJ called the groom and his mother to the floor for their notable dance. Again, hugs and tears between the groom and his mom, and smiles throughout the hall.




   Then the bride began a remarkable announcement. Through tears she explained that her dad had been valiantly battling cancer, and that everyone was praying for his recovery. However, her youngest sister-his youngest daughter was still in high school and "...who knows when she might get married..."
   This unselfish, loving bride, wanted her little sister to experience that once-in-a-lifetime father/daughter dance, and willingly shared her big day. Her dad smiled, took the hand of his youngest daughter, and began the most beautiful dance I've ever photographed.
   There was not a dry eye in the room.

Say NO to the Dress

   Okay, okay. I know that the popular show's title is Say YES to the Dress. If you haven't seen it, it chronicles a bride as she and her entourage of mom, best friend, sister, groom's mom, cousin, plumber, dry cleaner, and others, go with the bride-to-be to encourage her, or discourage her, regarding her wedding dress choices.
   Having been a photographer long enough to see several trends come, and blessedly, thankfully, go (anyone else remember the gowns with layer upon layer of pink tulle?), I have come to one definite conclusion: The wedding day belongs to the bride and groom, thus it follows that the wedding gown should be selected by the BRIDE. SHE is the one wearing it. SHE is the one who has dreamed of her perfect gown. SHE is the one who should ultimately decide.
   All right, let me have it. Mom is paying for the gown so she has final say...nope! Bride has no sense of  taste and style so her sister should pick for her? Wrong answer! Bride wants a dress with a mermaid design but she has the figure of a baby whale? Who cares?!? Again-just as the wedding day is all about the bride and groom, the wedding gown is ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE AND WHAT SHE WANTS.
   Our daughter, Jordan, got married a few years ago. She is a petite, elegant, young, professional woman with an hourglass figure and an amazing sense of style. I went with her to look at gowns, just because I'm her mom and it was a moment I wanted to share with her. I had no preconceived ideas of what would look good on her, or the style she should choose. Jordan had a couple of designs in mind and as she went into the dressing room to try one on, I enjoyed watching the other soon-to-be brides try on theirs.
   A young woman caught my attention. She walked slowly, almost reverently, from the dressing room in a soft, flowing, pale pink gown. When she turned to look at herself in the 3 way mirrors, she broke into tears at her image, and happily whispered, "It's perfect. It's what I always dreamed about. I love it." Then she turned toward her mom and sister for their reactions.
   Her mom stared at her only a moment, then sniffed, "You are simply too large for that gown. You are falling out of the top of it. Go change into the other one that we picked out." Her daughter looked at her for a long moment, with a crestfallen expression. "But Mom, I LOVE this gown." Again, her mom dismissed her with a wave of her hand, "It looks ridiculous on you. Go change." Her sister agreed with mommy dearest, saying, "No way can you lose enough weight to look decent in that dress. Be practical."
   The young bride, who only moments before saw herself as a beautiful princess, sadly turned and walked back to the dressing room. Her mom saw me watching and commented, "If only she looked like your daughter. Your daughter will look beautiful in anything she tries on."
    I was torn between wanting to run into the dressing room to comfort the broken-hearted bride, or punching her mother in the face.
 

 

Ragamuffins

   My husband and I went to the premier of a privately produced movie last night, "Ragamuffin, The Story of Rich Mullins". Excellent movie about the life of an exceptionally talented Christian singer/songwriter who died in a car crash. Rich Mullins was a chain smoking, angst filled man who enjoyed a drink quite often. What struck me is how alone he felt, despite having close, wonderfully supportive friends. He felt unworthy of love, broken, a ragamuffin.
    But really, aren't we all? No matter how we present ourselves to others, deep down inside, most of us are struggling with insecurities, grappling with fear. We feel that everyone else "has it together", and that we alone are obviously flawed and imperfect. The irony is that every single person on earth, old or young, rich or poor, great or small, at some point in their life has had that same thought and feeling.
   Not to oversimplify things, but in a way, that's why I love being a photographer. I strive to find at least one feature or characteristic of my subject and encourage them with their own beauty, inside or out. It might be their tentative smile, vivid green eyes, or graceful hands. Perhaps it is the way they describe how they met their fiance', with love lighting up their face. Each little nuance speaks to me of our shared humanity-our fears, hopes and dreams.
   When you look at a wedding photo or senior portrait or family reunion photograph that I captured for you, my wish is that it brings a smile, a remembrance of a happy moment, a confirmation of the light inside that makes you, YOU.

Cara and Dan's wedding

 

 Botanica, The Wichita Gardens, was the setting for the recent wedding of Dan and Cara. The weather had been cold just prior to their big day, but the morning of the wedding it was sunny and continued to warm to a comfortable 70 degrees-perfect!
   The best part of their wedding? Dan and Cara (and their moms) had planned out every detail of the wedding day, then they relaxed and enjoyed the wedding as it unfolded. They paid attention to minute details, like providing cheese and crackers and little sandwiches for the family and wedding party before the ceremony. The ring bearers were in shorts so they could enjoy the Gardens and "be boys".  They included personal touches, like having their professional musician friends play sets throughout the reception, and "planting a tree" as part of the wedding ceremony.Wright Focus Photography captured all the important moments, from Cara getting ready to the first dance of the bride and groom. Cheri's Bakery delivered and set up a beautiful wedding cake, "guitar" groom's cake, and money-saving sheet cake for the reception. Plaid Giraffe was the florist, providing table centerpieces with the necessary height to enable guests to talk easily without having to move to look around bulky, low arrangements. Just Say Cheese Photo Booth had a plethora of fun props for some one of a kind keepsake photos. They hired a wedding coordinator from Events by Ashley, to make sure everything went according to schedule.
   Why do I mention these details? Each item mentioned contributed to a more pleasant, comfortable, memorable event for their families and friends. The most important? That the key people ( bride, groom and their parents) all ENJOYED the day, leaving the professionals to do their jobs, so they in turn could relax and savor every moment.
   I personally loved seeing it all come together so beautifully. My wish for the newlyweds is that their married life continue to unfold in the same purposeful, yet with that "relax and revel in the moment" attitude. Congratulations, Cara and Dan!
 

   I came across THE CHECKLIST via Huffington Post in an article about weddings and what brides wished they had done differently regarding their weddings. Several interesting points, including regrets about time spent planning minute details (seating charts). I appreciated the candor of the brides who outed their own "bridezilla" moments, and the very basic wish to have used more lipstick during the day. 

   As a photographer, the 12% who wished they hadn't spent as much money on photos worries me. Did the photographer not live up to the expectations they presented? Or were the photos just so bad that even $1 spent on them was too much? (With the advent of  the "everyone with a camera is a photographer" mentality, I've known of this happening.)

   On the flip side, more than 20% of brides wished that they had spent MORE money on a photographer. Perhaps they had a "friend with a nice camera" as the "photographer" for their wedding, and once the results were presented, regretted their choice. Imagine the many stories of angst and anguish that are behind those survey results. On the other hand, look at all of the positive percentages and information.

   If you are planning a wedding, find proven professionals and hold them accountable for the service and talent they represent. The true professionals will consider that an honor and privilege.

Step into your life!

Yes, the title sounds awkward. Aren't we already in "our life"? Well, you may be...or maybe not...
   Look around. Do you see that man eating lunch with a friend, but frequently checking his cell phone and holding it like a mini-barrier between them? What about the mom pushing her child in the stroller with one hand, and holding her cell phone to chat with someone else with the other?  At your daughter's basketball game last Saturday-how many parents watched the game through the viewfinder of their iPhone? Do they really believe they will watch the game with their daughter later? Or do you remember the dad who barely glanced at the game in front of him, choosing instead to watch his favorite professional team on his phone instead?
   At a recent wedding that I photographed, the bride waited patiently for her mom to arrive before donning her wedding gown. She wanted to be sure that her mother was there to share that once-in-a-lifetime moment. Her mom arrived and immediately retrieved her phone out of her purse and began taking pictures, then looking down to send them to friends and family that couldn't attend the wedding.
   Your first thought may be that the mom was being thoughtful, sharing the moment with others not privileged to be there. In reality, I saw the daughter being laced into her fairytale wedding dress, disappointedly watching her mom- who was missing 90% of what was happening right in front of her because of her interaction with her cell phone.
   I was hired as the professional photographer for the wedding day. As the professional, my job is to preserve all of those moments so that they can be shared and enjoyed with loved ones for years to come. I also believe that the most important aspect of my job as the photographer, is to capture the memories so the bride, groom, bride's mom, groom's dad and maid of honor don't have to! They can then ENJOY each second, while it is happening, in the moment. Was it necessary for mom to send photos immediately to her friends and other family? Couldn't they wait a few hours and see them on a website later? Did the bride's mother really need to "step out of her life" and allow technology to get between her and that precious moment that should have been shared with her daughter right then?
   At a wedding last year, just before the "you may now kiss the bride" proclamation, I was caught off guard when the groom's father stood up and stepped into the aisle holding his cell phone. As the newlyweds shared their first kiss as husband and wife, the photo that I took and the one taken by my assistant photographer in the balcony, feature the father of the groom standing before them, as much as the bride and groom.
   I humbly ask that the next time you reach for your cell phone, tablet or iPad when you have the option of interacting with a friend or loved one right beside you instead,  please consider the question, "Is it really that important?"